Week Nine

Wow! It is getting down to the nitty gritty here! I do feel like I've progressed this week and that week 9 was a better one for me than week 8 was. I've really focused on getting my weights up and pushing myself in the cardio sessions. I know my endurance is better now than it has been in a while. Gosh, I wish I was doing this while I was marathon training. I can hardly stand to run at 6.0 mph on the treadmill anymore. It feels like walking to me! My heart is obviously getting so much stronger and I'm proud of that.

I guess I tend to focus on the scale or the measurements or how I look in my photos but forget that there are positive changes happening to every part of my body (and mind for that matter) and those are all contributing to a healthier me, regardless of whether or not I can "see" the changes. Brandon tells me that if he was looking at my vital stats (blood pressure and resting heart rate specifically) without knowing me he would be seriously worried. But since he knows the extent of my workouts and what I eat, he says I'm in incredible shape. Much, much, much better shape than the majority of people, he says. And he sees a lot of humanity on a daily basis in the clinic and at the hospitals, so that too is good news for me.

When I look back at my week 1-4 workouts I almost laugh at the weights I was using back then. I'm making progress. I've come a really long way in such a short time. I need to stop beating myself up and start celebrating really how well I'm doing and how far I've come.

There is definitely room for improvement here too. I don't know why but I just can seem to find the same commitment level that I had going on in the beginning. For the first 4 weeks I did not "cheat" on my eating once! Since then it has been a different story! Nothing major, but I'm feel more comfortable with my new lifestyle and justify a little here and a little there. Those little slip-ups may not hurt all that much in the short-term, but they speak to my dedication and I really need to get back on track.

I think I'll do some photos and measurements next week to compare and to show myself that things are happening even if it feels like it is at a snail's pace. That will be my motivation to progress this week. Wish me luck!

Week Eight

I was looking pretty forward to my photos and measurements today but I knew as soon as I looked in the mirror that things weren't going to be quite as good as I wanted them to be. I was right. The photos show very little progress and the changes are hard to see, even for me. I did my measurements this afternoon and they too are very similar to what I saw week 4. I did lose an inch and a half off my hips and a half an inch off my belly which are both good, I guess. To say that I'm discouraged would be an understatement.

I'm trying to dig deep and find the positive encouragement I need to keep pressing on. I know I still have 4 weeks left and from what everyone says, the best is yet to come. I hope so. I feel like I am working harder and getting stronger. I just hope it translates into something I can be proud of in the next few weeks.

Week Seven

I started this week off on fire, ready to kick the burnout and get myself motivated and back to my prior 110% commitment. I sat down with my books and my notebook, planned my meals and my workouts and thought I was ready to run with it.

I didn't do all that bad. I need to be less harsh on myself. And I really need to write in that journal. I need to be accountable for my actions. The workouts are getting easier, which I think means I'm getting stronger (a good thing) but I'm not pushing myself as hard (a bad thing). I feel good but I'm still frustrated with my scale weight and how uncontrolled I act on free day. I guess my mind is getting out of the game and I need to refocus.

Eating was a big challenge this week. I didn't get my normal grocery shopping done early in the week which meant I had to be creative to come up with meals that sounded good and were balanced and nutritious. That was hard. Lesson learned is that I need to plan, shop, prepare and stick to the plan. Simple as that.

I've also learned that I'm an "all or nothing" kind of person when it comes to free day. I can do really well with my eating so long as I don't give a bad food choice even a thought. As soon as I tell myself that a few crackers won't hurt, half the box is gone. I did so well with this weakness in the beginning but I've let myself slip. I am going to do better this week. I know I can be perfect with my nutrition and that it is 80% of my success so I'm going to make it my #1 priority from here on out.

I guess my biggest fear is that I won't see the results I'm hoping for and that I'll look back and say that all this hard work was for nothing. I look at my week 4 photos and progress and can't help but think that I've digressed since then. I haven't got out a tape measure, mostly because I'm scared I'll be disappointed in the numbers. I do weigh myself frequently (perhaps too often) and know that my scale weight is not only not going down any longer, but is starting to creep up. This is extremely frustrating. I know it is not all about the scale and the my body is changing regardless of the numbers I see; still, I would really like to see those numbers go down. And not just go down but significantly change so that in the end I can say that all the hard work is worth it. It is scary thinking that I won't believe it.

I also have to keep telling myself that I still have 5 weeks left of the challenge and then the rest of my life after that. Five weeks is a lot of time to still see great improvement. And if I don't get to the "perfect" transformation after these first 12 weeks, I will definitely be on my way and I'll keep at it and I will feel good and the changes will come. Eventually they will come. I just need to be consistent and most importantly, I need to be patient.

I ran 7 miles yesterday with a friend. I'm trying to decided whether or not to run a half marathon at the end of March, about a week after my challenge is over. I want to make sure that this transformation remains my top priority. It was shocking to me that I didn't really enjoy running, something that I used to really love. Long runs used to be my therapy, my "me" time. I really have grown to love my new BFL workouts and the energy and strength I feel from completing a hard workout. Change is good and I know my body and my mind are benefiting from this new lifestyle. Now I just need to remember that.

Gosh I sound like a broken record. Why can't I just keep it in my head how great this feels and how badly I want it?? I'm resolving to hold myself more accountable. I'm doing really well. So I have had a few slip-ups. It's nothing major and certainly not reason to give up and call it quits at this point.

I have measurements and photos next Sunday for my 8 week progress check. I'm extremely motivated to make a big change this week, kick everything up a notch and hopefully have some really great photos and results to post and share. I could really use some positive feedback at this point!

Week Six

I can see what people mean when they say they experience "week six burnout." I think this happened for me this week. I don't know why it has been so hard, but I'm feeling tired and lacking motivation big time. By the time Thursday hit this week I was really struggling and decided to do a free day, thinking it would lift my spirits to eat some junk. Why did I not just hit the treadmill?? I felt horrible and needless to say, the food didn't help. It just goes to show that this is a constant challenge and that I still need to take every day and make the best of it. I'm trying hard not to get down on myself and not to give up. I posted on the BFL forums and try to find support there. It is good to know that I'm not the only one who has struggled at this point. I'm trying to hold on to my success so far and trust that great things are about to happen for me. I need this. I want this. I'm going to do this.

Week Five

This week was a tough one but a good one. I'm starting to really feel stronger and more confident in my workouts and feel like I've conquered the nutrition aspect of my new lifestyle. That alone is major progress in my books because it was my biggest struggle pre- Body For Life. I have got to admit that I am getting a little lazy when it comes to planning out my workouts and meals as a result though. I feel like I know what to do and can trust myself to do it so I don't sit down and physically plan it out every day. I know it can make a big difference and so I'm resolving to do better this coming week.

Most past challenge participants say that many women experience a 6-8 week miracle where fat just seems to melt off! I know that has to be thanks to commitment and hard work more than anything else. I keep telling myself that other people won't see a difference in my body until 8 weeks so I have a while to go before the comments (and hopefully compliments) start. I really want the change to be noticeable and significant, and that fuels me during every workout and meal choice.

I read someone's nutrition tip about balancing protein and carbs during a meal. They suggested that they try to eat 20 g of protein and the same of carbs at each meal. I don't know why but I never thought of it that easily before. I am going to work harder at composing my meals "correctly" rather than just assuming that what I pick up or plan is sufficient. There are so many tools out there to help us succeed. Why not start using them?

Here's to a great week 6 and to getting myself halfway there! I am so excited about how far I've come in so little time and can't wait to see what is in store for me just around the corner!

Week Four: Breakthrough

4 Weeks! I can't believe I made it to today. I feel so victorious for sticking it out this far, as crazy as that sounds. This is really big for me. I'd have to say that one of the biggest rewards to this point has been that I'm not miserable!! I can count only a handful of times I have even thought about how hard this process is which really tells me how committed to changing I am this time around. Quitting has not even crossed my mind. I feel strong and healthy and most importantly I am proud of myself. I can definitely keep this up. (I'm sure I'll need to come back and read this some time in the next 8 weeks).

I took my 4 week photos this morning before I started my free day. As soon as I put the clothes on I knew that the photos were going to be much, much better. I mean really, could they get any worse? When I printed them off this morning to add to my binder I was very pleasantly surprised. I can see some progress and changes already. Most people say women don't see the biggest changes until weeks 7-8 so I'm very encouraged thinking of what is to come. So far I've lost 12 pounds and 19.5 inches. I'm so glad that I took those measurements before. Those speak volumes to me about how real these changes are.

Free Day today. I wrote down things I wanted to eat all week which really helped me stay focused, avoid pitfalls and look forward to today. It is a good ideato know what I'm planning to eat so I don't just go raid the cupboards and shove unhealthy food in my face! Today I picked a tortilla chip dip made of black beans, corn, tomatoes, cucumber, avacado and lime juice. Healthy but not with chips! And some Tootsie Rolls, my favorite! As much skim milk as I want to drink. Man, I miss drinking loads of milk.

My plan moving into the next 4 weeks is to eat cleaner. Eating smaller portions and eating the right foods have not been hard for me (big shock, let me tell ya) but getting in 6 meals a day has been a challenge. I've run into this before with marathon training. When I don't eat enough, (ie when I eat too little rather than too much), I tend to hold on to those pounds, get grouchier and have less energy to work my hardest. So, I'll be recommitting to planning my meals and getting enough fuel in my body to support my workouts.

Second, I'm going to try ramping up my cardio. Post marathon I could run 3 miles in 20-23 minutes if I pushed really hard. I'm averaging about 2.7 miles in my 20 minute HIIT workout. I'm going to push for those 10's and really try and get in 3 miles in 20ish minutes. I'll also finish out running for 30 minutes just to add a little punch.

I'm going to go back over my workout progress sheets and use them to figure out where I can up my weights too. That's a little harder for me since I switch between different exercises all the time but I'm sure I can find room to grow. It really is crazy to think how even 10 more pounds or 2-3 more reps really add up over time.

I'm really excited to see what February and the next 4 weeks have in store for me and the changes I'll surely see. Bring it on!

Temptation

Today was my hardest day on BFL so far. Actually, i think it is the first time in 3.5 weeks that I've felt challenged, like I was weak. I was busy and stressed, haven't planned my meals or workouts as well as I'd like, have been rushed and have just been lazy, to put it simply. I "cheated" a little on my eating today - ate 6 sweet crackers and a few muffins! Gross. I wanted to throw in the towel and eat a whole bag of candy, justifying it and calling it my free day. But that is something that the old Erin would have done. So, I've put the candy away and have poured myself a tall glass of ice water. I'm trying very hard to get myself back on the bandwagon and get back to my 110% motivated self. Maybe I should go read a few pages of the new BFL book I bought myself the other day. The old one was hashed and I wanted something fresh to represent this go at things.  how I'll be finishing this time around. I hope I can find some motivation!